This week has been one for the stress record books.
Lots of homework, lab reports, papers, quizzes, and tests. Plus I got a phone call from Casas. I will not be going back this summer...That statement completely broke my heart. I spent most of the day crying and wondering why I didn't I try to lead more. Why, why, why am I not going back?
At first, I was furious. I had thought that I'd never go back again. Then I realized how selfish I was being and that is not the way to act. God has a plan for me and I shouldn't be mad because I didn't get my way. One of my favorite sayings is "We plan, God laughs." He knows what is right for our lives not us. It's not about me, it's about showing His love no matter where I am or what I'm doing.
I didn't understand but I knew the reasons. I understood the reasons, and if I were in their position, I would have made the same decision.
First thing I did was text some people who I had been talking about the summer with. Next I texted Jason asking where he was cause I needed to be with someone. I ended up texting a lot more people cause there are so many people who knew I wanted to go back. When I got to Jason's, he saw me crying, gave me a hug, and I told him that Casas had called. His response "Oh, crap." Probably the funniest thing at the moment. That just meant he knew what happened. He knew I wasn't going back and that I was really upset. We talked through my crying and I'm so lucky to have him and all my other friends and family. The message I got from almost everyone is that God has a plan for my summer and Casas isn't it but he is going to use me in the way that he has planned.
Here I am 12 hours later, way calmed down thanks to friends, family, and work. Yes I still tear up occasionally as I am working on my chemistry, but it happens. I know there is a plan for my summer and it is going to be what God wants, not what I want. Depending on what God has in store for me this summer, I may be down in Mexico for a week, but again it is up to Him.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
He knows. I don't. I'm going to trust him. It's not about me but about Him. He's has got me in his hands.
A real disappointment but you are right he has plans for you. I hope that you will soon find out what direction you need to take this summer. My prayers are with you ! Carole Grimes
ReplyDeleteLisa, saw your profile, read your blog, and this passage came to mind. I miss you (and everyone else) dearly. Keep strong, stay the course.
ReplyDelete-Kevin FitzGerald
But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 3
You are very strong and have such a heart for God and others. It takes a while to work thru the feelings, but you are getting there. Continue to cling to your faith. You are amazing and I could be more proud! Love you!!
ReplyDeleteSorry...COULDN'T be more proud!!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see where God takes you this summer as you seek Him. Take care.
ReplyDelete