This week has been one for the stress record books.
Lots of homework, lab reports, papers, quizzes, and tests. Plus I got a phone call from Casas. I will not be going back this summer...That statement completely broke my heart. I spent most of the day crying and wondering why I didn't I try to lead more. Why, why, why am I not going back?
At first, I was furious. I had thought that I'd never go back again. Then I realized how selfish I was being and that is not the way to act. God has a plan for me and I shouldn't be mad because I didn't get my way. One of my favorite sayings is "We plan, God laughs." He knows what is right for our lives not us. It's not about me, it's about showing His love no matter where I am or what I'm doing.
I didn't understand but I knew the reasons. I understood the reasons, and if I were in their position, I would have made the same decision.
First thing I did was text some people who I had been talking about the summer with. Next I texted Jason asking where he was cause I needed to be with someone. I ended up texting a lot more people cause there are so many people who knew I wanted to go back. When I got to Jason's, he saw me crying, gave me a hug, and I told him that Casas had called. His response "Oh, crap." Probably the funniest thing at the moment. That just meant he knew what happened. He knew I wasn't going back and that I was really upset. We talked through my crying and I'm so lucky to have him and all my other friends and family. The message I got from almost everyone is that God has a plan for my summer and Casas isn't it but he is going to use me in the way that he has planned.
Here I am 12 hours later, way calmed down thanks to friends, family, and work. Yes I still tear up occasionally as I am working on my chemistry, but it happens. I know there is a plan for my summer and it is going to be what God wants, not what I want. Depending on what God has in store for me this summer, I may be down in Mexico for a week, but again it is up to Him.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
He knows. I don't. I'm going to trust him. It's not about me but about Him. He's has got me in his hands.
